Final in a relating of some of my old journal entries...
The cross theme in the teaching of Jesus is somehow wound up with the love theme. Greater love has no man than this, that he would give his life for his friends. The laying down of the life for others is at the heart of the cross. We do not die to show bravery and courage but love. The cross is the purest form of love available.
It is this form of love that trumps fear. Jesus had to overcome fear in the garden. His love was real but it was hindered by human flesh that cried out for deliverance. The victory of Calvary was won in Gethsemane. We must not assume that because we are afraid to do something, or just plain do not want to do it, that this thing is not of God and not of the cross. In fact these kinds of things are more likely to be candidates for crucified behavior. The object then is not to avoid such things but to, in prayer, overcome the obstacles.
Of course one must be motivated by God's perfect love. This too takes prayer. It is possible to give one's body to be burned alive, and still have no love in the heart. There is absolutely no profit in such sacrifices. So we follow not all those who suffer. Suffering itself is not the key. Nor self-styled "suffering for Jesus." There are those who create problems for themselves that Jesus never created. These are not the cross.
The cross is thrust on us, yet avoidable. It is the work of the pursuer, the enemy who seeks to kill and destroy us and our work in Christ. Persecution is pursuit. It was thrust on Jesus and he succumbed willingly. When it came after the disciples, they all fled. Filled with the Spirit, they all followed their Master. One must be filled with Jesus to desire to die for Him and to be able to do so.
But there is much practice in most lives before the main event. Many chances to die to self every day. It seems incomprehensible that a man who has lived for himself all his life would suddenly desire martyrdom on a "foreign field." Perhaps it is more of the same he is seeking: self-glory, power, attention, even sympathy, some sort of "legacy" for an otherwise failed experience with Christ.
Failed relations with... again remind me that the cross is as far away from me as ever. So unwilling to let go of my perceived privileges, and my plans. So unable to see other viewpoints, not to condone, but to understand and gently correct by life-style and message. Instead there is instant judgment. So unlike Jesus as to cause more serious doubt as to what my faith has meant through the years.
Am I in fact an enemy of the cross of Christ? Paul seems to so indicate, Philippians 3:17-19. He is addressing brothers. Is he talking about brothers? Or supposed brothers? It certainly seems so. After enjoining the church to follow him and his way of life, he tearfully describes the opposite kind of believer as an enemy of Christ and His cross. This person is headed for certain destruction. He worships and serves his own appetites. He glories in shameful things. He sets his mind on this earth, forgetting his true citizenship. Yet he claims to be a believer.
My attempts recently to break loose from my eating habits, and to stay focused on things that matter are not too encouraging. I had no idea how important my stomach is to me. Not just eating to stay alive but staying alive to eat. My needs. My comforts. My security. All about me. True worship and service that Jesus desires and deserves, has been given to me.
"Who shall deliver us from the body of this death? I thank God through Christ our Lord."
One who desires constantly to stay alive to serve himself and does not reach out to heaven and His neighbor is living in animosity toward the cross of Jesus. The longer one lives like this, and the extent to which one lives like this, is the measure of Christ in that man. Let no such self-centered one proclaim loudly his faith in Christ, for the watching world judges Christ by what it sees in me.
How to die! How to die! How to live to Christ!
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